Category: Inspiration

The Importance of Boundaries in Relationships: Setting Healthy Limits

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” – Brené Brown (American Professor)

We are involved in a wide variety of interpersonal connections, including those with our spouses, colleagues, coworkers, family, and in-laws. Even though their intensities vary, we often find ourselves a part of these important interactions as part of our busy routines. The majority of us have trouble setting boundaries and perhaps feel embarrassed to bring up this crucial subject for discussion and action.

When used in a relationship to request time or space that can be perceived negatively or appear unwarranted by the other, the word “boundaries” in itself can trigger negative feelings. While we consistently associate boundaries with weaker emotions of love, admiration, or even detachment, setting the way for eventual separation.  We consistently fail to understand that boundaries are not actual limits but instead a place where we find ourselves apart from interpersonal relationships. The possession of our personal space allows us to define intrapersonal space and investigate our daily routines. We visit this area not out of a lack of affection or adoration, but rather because we value discovering an adequate inner self.

Although the nature of relationships is constantly shifting, the effort we put forth to keep them strong is what matters most. Every relationship goes through a stage where we try to build a channel for communication, but we should also build a channel where we are open and sincere in meaningful interactions about our true selves. Boundaries can include prohibitions on physical behavior, such as requests that a partner refrains from looking through our phones or from interfering with our home-based job. They can also be psychological, such as when we ask our partner to acknowledge that sometimes our objectives and dreams may not line up with theirs. The importance of healthy boundaries, however, includes the following. 

Photo source: Professional QP

  • Establishes guidelines for interactions with other people.
  • Defines each person’s role in a relationship.
  • Distinguishes our desires, needs, thoughts, and emotions from those of other people.
  • Give us a sense of self-worth and freedom.
  • Assures both our mental and physiological comfort.

Our relationships may become poisonous and unfulfilling without healthy limits or boundaries, and our well-being may suffer as a result. We run the risk of destroying our relationships if our boundaries and those of others are consistently crossed. It is not only in intimate relationships that we need boundaries. They are also necessary at work, where our demands could be ignored or monopolized by management or coworkers. Poor quality of personal life can result from unhealthy boundaries that we have at work.

We as individuals are therefore advised to make deliberate efforts in setting boundaries in all areas of our lives.

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Overcoming Negative Thoughts: Tips and Techniques

Every now and then, we all have bad thoughts. Nevertheless, conquering negative thoughts can be a huge and challenging undertaking for certain people, especially those who deal with depression or low self-esteem. Social anxiety, despair, frustration, and low self-esteem are just a few of the issues it might aggravate.

Understanding how we think presently is essential to modifying our negative thoughts, after which we can employ various techniques to alter or lessen their impact. However, we may also learn how to alter our cognitive patterns. Therapy is frequently beneficial in changing negative thoughts.

The tips and techniques discussed in this article can help us alter our negative thoughts.

Photo source: Vie Studio

  • Talk About It

Finding someone close to us and talking to them can help us get past negative thoughts and feelings. Not only may this help us vent, but it can also be a great chance to rethink negative thoughts more positively.

  • Discover a Way to Offer Help

Putting our attention on something that will benefit someone else is one strategy for overcoming negative thoughts. We give ourselves a chance to improve our lives by assisting others. Whether it is just listening to a friend or helping others in other ways is a terrific way to help us overcome negative thoughts.

  • Develop The Ability to Handle Criticism

The assertive defense of the self is referred to as another component of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy that can occasionally be beneficial for people with social anxiety. We must be able to deal with rejection and criticism since it is likely that occasionally, people will genuinely be critical and judgmental of us. To develop our assertiveness skills and assertive reactions to criticism, this procedure is frequently carried out in therapy with a pretend conversation between the individual and the therapist. 

  • Change the Negativity Around Us

Our daily experiences can have an impact on the thoughts we have. Knowing the main causes of negativity in our lives is crucial. These sources may include individuals, publications, music, etc. Once they are recognized, we need to figure out how to swap them out for uplifting influences.

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What A New Year Symbolizes | Be Intentional

“Celebrate endings – for they precede new beginnings.” – Jonathan Lockwood (American voice actor)

As time has gone by, we have advanced toward the start of a new era. Numerous things are brought about by a new year. A whole new year can signal the start of fresh life, happiness, or a second chance for some people. As the year has come to a close, we probably mean to start afresh with everything, however by the end of the first few months, practically everyone is back to their old ways.

We begin each year to improve our lives, but as time passes, we lose sight of our original goals and revert to our former ways of living. It is imperative to keep in mind that a new year ushers in a new cycle of 12 months, signifying that change is the only constant in life. In light of this, we should strive to let go of things that do not add value to our lives and avoid holding onto them for an extended period as sometimes change is beneficial for us. A new year represents many diverse things in addition to the message of evolving perspectives, including:

Photo source: Jill Wellington

  • New Opportunities

We have many opportunities in the new year. Opportunities to learn something new, and accomplish something new, however, come to those who seize them rather than those who wait for them.

  • A New Beginning

A year ends and a new one begins. It conveys the idea of a new beginning as it fades away the darkness of our life and makes our life bright. Giving ourselves a second chance to try something we desire but was not working out is excellent. Though our past may not be in our favor, a fresh start will unquestionably put the future on our side. We must deliberately allow our past to improve us rather than make us resentful.

  • Time Of Awakening

Happiness is born in our hearts when the pain in our lives fades with each passing year. It is up to us to consciously cherish what brings us happiness. Nothing will make us happy unless we decide to be happy since happiness is a choice, not an outcome. Let us, therefore, make a conscious effort to be happy.

Let us be intentional about creating a difference in this new year while keeping in mind the aforementioned characteristics that a new year symbolizes.

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Leave The Baggage In 2022

“Let go of your baggage and become God’s luggage.” – Elder Marcus J. Butler

Grudges, to start with, are identity-related pieces of baggage. This identity has some kind of strength and rightness, despite how much we dislike it. We have a characteristic that characterizes our rage, giving it substance and meaning. We have a clear definition and a valid complaint. We must be willing to let go of our identity as the victims of unfair treatment, as well as any support or potential empathy and understanding that comes with that identity if we are to be able to let go of our feelings of resentment. The sense of being the victim must be willingly let go of as we enter a new self.

In actuality, holding grudges and the identities that go along with them are attempts to obtain the consolation and sympathy we did not previously receive, as well as empathy for what occurred to us. We declare that, as those who were victimized, we merit extra consideration and special treatment. Our anger is a scream for attention and special treatment in light of what we may have been through.

Photo source: Anna Bondarenko

Apart from the fact that they are unpleasant to carry about, grudges are problematic since they do not help either party learn from past mistakes or strengthen relationships. They do not alleviate our suffering or fix our wounds. In the end, we find ourselves proud owners of grudges but still lacking the comforting feeling that we eventually yearn for and have yearned for ever since the initial injury. We materialize our resentment and hold it out at arm’s length as evidence of our pain, a badge of honor, and a way to serve as a constant reminder to ourselves and others of our pain. Unfortunately, in their attempt to elicit empathy, grudges wind up robbing us of the same empathy we need to let go of.

To overcome a grudge, we must first forgive the other person and learn to love ourselves. What eventually cures the pain and causes the grudge to melt is to bring our loving presence to the pain that crystallized into the grudge, the anguish that was caused by this person. We can move into the pain of a grudge with the assistance of a trusted person or offer a loving presence to our wound, but from a safe place inside, if it feels too overwhelming to do so. Instead of plunging back into the initial trauma, the goal is to attend to it with the compassion we did not receive and bring it right into the eye of the storm. Our hearts hold both the pain and the remedy for the pain itself.

We need to turn our attention away from the people who mistreat us, away from the tale of the pain, and toward the felt experience of what we experienced to let go of the baggage of grudges. We discover the calming kindness and compassion that the grudges crave when we redirect our attention.

Photo source: Erik Mclean

Furthermore, no matter how strongly we believe it, we must accept responsibility for our pain and realize that it is important. This cannot be done by holding grudges. As our presence makes amends for the wrong, we can let go of the identity of the person who was mistreated as it longer becomes useful to us. This identity frequently disappears on its own without our knowledge or the need for resentment. The fact that we are in our hearts’ company, just where we need to be, becomes obvious. As we journey through the new year, let us however leave the baggage in 2022.

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Dominion TV, Africa’s Christian Lifestyle Network for Inspired and Empowered Living.

The Impacts of Holding a Grudge on Mental Health

“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” – Carrie Fisher (American actress and writer)

Grudges are a common way for people to cope with unpleasant emotions and experiences, even as young children. This reaction is common when people believe that someone has harmed them on purpose, especially if they do not seem to care or make an effort to apologize or put things right.

While it is common for everyone to harbor the occasional grudge, some people might be more inclined to harbor resentment than others. Holding resentments and placing blame may occasionally be an attempt at self-defense. In a similar vein, some individuals may be more aware of the fact that they fuel sentiments of resentment than others, who may not be aware of the part they play in maintaining their anger. Long-lasting resentment can develop from a range of problems, both significant and minor.

Furthermore, the cycle of anger and blame can become worsened if a person harbors resentment toward the person they believe has harmed them. People’s established unfavorable attitudes and cognitive errors, however, are occasionally linked to holding grudges.

In essence, it is bad for anyone to hold a grudge. Instead of moving on with life, it causes people to become stuck in their rage and more prone to prolonged worrying. In effect, grudges keep people buried in the past and prevents them from coping with or resolving their problems.

Impact on Mental Health

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A person’s mental health might suffer in several ways from holding grudges. The wisest course of action is always to accept and move past a bad experience or to find a workable settlement because holding on can keep one stuck in a cycle of bitterness and hatred, among other things.

It can be exhausting and irritating to repeatedly go through the upsetting event and associated feelings as nothing improves or changes except that it becomes hurtful. Additionally, research demonstrates that even if time has passed, dwelling on a negative experience can make it seem like it happened much more recently.

Also, the act of harboring a grudge could even end up being more unpleasant than the original occurrence when people exaggerate the experience in their imaginations, which is very frequent. Unfortunately, considering that it is self-inflicted, the person will probably only feel worse. Developed conflict and unchecked internal anger can lead to additional tension, spitefulness, stress, anger, and pessimism, which can raise people’s tendency for mental health issues including depression, anxiety disorder, and emotional disorder, among other things.

It is essential to keep in mind in daily interactions that mental health and sanity play a significant influence on one’s overall health safety.

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New Year’s Resolutions and Why People Make Them

“Do not make resolutions without an action plan. The secret to success is right in your hands.” – J. Allen Shaw (Author)

Photo source: Tim Mossholder

The most common day of the year for people to push the symbolic restart button is New Year’s Day. Almost everyone resolves to spend more time with their loved ones. Why do people set resolutions at the beginning of the year and what is it about the New Year that inspires such optimism for change? Mostly because the majority of people desire a second chance to enhance their quality of life.

There are various ways to make resolutions. Some people resolve to stop negative behavior, like procrastinating or overindulging in junk food, among others. Others promise to form good habits, like starting a business, engaging in regular exercise, or affiliating with a church group.

A choice of whether or not to take action to reach a personal objective or stop a habit is referred to as a new year’s resolution. It happens when people are reflecting on the previous year and trying to get better as the new year starts.

Here are three factors that influence people’s decisions to make resolutions.

  • Making resolutions signify a person’s desire to change for the better in their life. Although the majority of people fail to keep their new year’s resolutions, they nonetheless provide them the joy of moving closer to their goals and working toward them.

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  • Making resolutions also help people feel more purposeful as it makes their reasons for existence more real and specific.


  • People are held responsible when they make resolutions. Without it, people frequently veer off course from their intended objective since there is nothing to offer as a constant reminder to fulfill a want or accomplish a goal.

To reach a desired goal or target, new year’s resolutions should not only be simple to state or create but also be adhered to religiously. This is the only way a resolution can be implemented.

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Steps to Take to Forgive Yourself

“Forgiveness is the greatest gift you can give yourself.” -Maya Angelou

By forgiving someone, you are expressing your willingness to let go of the past and go on with your life without dwelling on things that have already happened and cannot be altered.

Self-forgiveness is neither a way to absolve oneself of responsibility nor a show of frailty. Whether you forgive someone who has harmed you or yourself, doing so does not imply that you are endorsing the behavior. Instead, it indicates that you favor peace over the problem. Below are some steps to consider in forgiving yourself.

  • Take Ownership of Your Actions

It takes more than just putting the past in the past and moving on to forgive oneself. It involves acknowledging what has occurred and exhibiting self-compassion. To forgive yourself, you must first face what has happened. It is also the most difficult yet most advantageous phase.

  • Express Regret For Your Mistakes

You could feel a variety of unfavorable emotions after accepting responsibility, such as guilt and regret. It is very normal to feel guilty after doing something wrong. These sentiments of regret and guilt might serve as motivation for healthy behavior modification. Recognize that making mistakes you feel horrible about neither makes you a bad person nor diminishes your inherent worth.

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  • Apologize And Reconcile

Even when it is you who needs to be forgiven, reconciliation is a crucial component of forgiveness. Forgiving yourself is more likely to persist when you feel like you have earned it, similar to how you might not forgive someone else until they have made it up to you in some way. Making the necessary corrections for your mistakes is one method to get over your guilt. If an apology is necessary, give one and seek out ways to make up for the person you have offended.

  • Consider the Lessons Learned

Each person has done things they regret and made mistakes. It can be harmful and difficult to retain your motivation if you fall into the self-hatred or even pity trap. Finding a means to grow as a person and learn from the experience is frequently required to forgive yourself. You must comprehend the reasons behind your actions and your feelings of shame to accomplish this. 

  • Make an Effort to Improve

Making a conscious effort to improve going forward is another aspect of forgiving yourself. Think back on how you felt about earlier mistakes as you approach comparable circumstances. Remind yourself of what you learned and how you may utilize that information and experience to guide your behavior moving ahead rather than feeling bad about the mistakes you made in the past.

While it might be tough to forgive others for hurting you, it can also be difficult to forgive yourself. Being able to forgive yourself is a process that is unique to each person.  Even though practicing self-forgiveness might have a lot of positive health effects, it is never straightforward or easy. Self-forgiveness can be beneficial for your relationships as well as your physical health in addition to lowering stress, despair, and anxiety.

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Dominion TV, Africa’s Christian Lifestyle Network for Inspired and Empowered Living.

Anger Management | Tips for a Peaceful Life

Everyone has experienced anger, whether it was a brief annoyance or a full-blown wrath. We all understand what anger is. The human feeling of anger is entirely natural and typically healthy. However, when it spirals out of control and becomes toxic, it can negatively impact our quality of life overall as well as our ability to function at work and in our intimate relations.

The intensity of anger can range from slight annoyance to violent outrage.   Both external and internal factors may be the cause. For instance, our anger could be motivated by our fear or introspection about our own problems, or it might be a reaction to a particular person or event.

Anger can be contained.  The goal is to control or conceal our anger and channel it into more disciplined behavior. This type of reaction poses a risk because, if allowed to manifest externally, it may turn inward on us. Internalized anger may result in high blood pressure or depression.

Anger that is not voiced can lead to other issues. It can result in behavioral anger outbursts, such as passive-aggressive behavior or a persistently hostile disposition. We can tell we have not mastered the art of constructive anger expression when we continually criticize everything, constantly knock others down, and make negative comments.

Managing Anger

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The objective of anger management is to lessen the physiological stimulation that anger creates as well as our emotional reactions. We may learn to regulate our reactions, even when we cannot change the things or people that irritate us.

We become angry for a variety of reasons, including genetic and physiological factors. According to research, a person’s family background contributes. It is typically considered that those who are easily agitated come from disruptive homes with poor emotional literacy.

Tips For Managing Anger

  • Enhanced Communication

In times of anger, we have a tendency to act based on assumptions, some of which may be completely wrong. Whenever we find ourselves in a heated argument, the first thing we should do is take a moment to compose ourselves.

When we are criticized, it is normal for us to become defensive. Despite this, we must wait before responding. It might involve a great deal of calm probing on our part, as well as some breathing room.

  • Problem-solving skills

Sometimes, very real, unavoidable challenges in our life are the root of our anger and irritation. Many times, anger is a legitimate, natural reaction to these challenges, therefore not all anger is inappropriate. Additionally, there is a societal presumption that every issue has a solution, so when we learn that this is not always the case, it makes us even more frustrated. Therefore, the best mentality to adopt in such a circumstance is to concentrate less on finding the answer and more on how to approach and deal with the issue.

  • Cognitive reorganization

Our thoughts can become too dramatic and overblown when we are furious. Let us, however, try to replace these ideas with something more practical. Even though anger, even when it is justifiable, can easily degenerate into irrationality, logic fails to subdue it. When we are furious, we often demand things like fairness, agreement, and willingness. Everyone wants these things, and when they are not given to us, we are all upset and disappointed. However, when we are angry, we demand these things, and when our requests are not granted, our displeasure turns into anger.

It is important to keep in mind that we cannot and should not try to erase anger. Despite everything we do, there will still be things that make us angry—and sometimes that anger is justified. Life will be full of the erratic behaviors of others. Although we cannot control it, we can modify how we choose to react to unforeseen circumstances. We may avoid being even more unhappy in the long run by learning to control our angry reactions.

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Emotions During Pregnancy and How to Handle Them

Pregnancy is getting company inside one’s skin. – Maggie Scarf (American writer, journalist, and lecturer)

Pregnant women frequently experience mood swings as a result of the fluctuating hormone levels that occur throughout pregnancy. When a woman is pregnant, her body goes through changes that might be difficult for her emotions. The hormones estrogen and progesterone rise at this time, which can result in a wide range of emotions and moods, particularly during the first trimester.

There are additional elements that affect mood swings during pregnancy in addition to what occurs physically. When a woman encounters a significant change in her life, she may experience a range of emotions, including excitement and fear about what the future may contain. A woman’s emotions during pregnancy may also be influenced by changes to her social life, body image, and general health.

Photo source: Mustafa Omar

Typical Pregnancy Feelings and Emotions

  • Disorientation

Pregnancy brain, as it is sometimes referred to, can be brought on by hormonal changes during pregnancy. Even though the brain is not altering, anything a person goes through during this period can make it simple for them to become forgetful. As the woman’s attention shifts to becoming a parent, an increase in hormones have an impact on some brain circuits.

  • Anxiety

Anxiety is one of the most typical feelings experienced throughout pregnancy. During this period, a pregnant woman has a lot on her mind, which can make her feel worried. She experiences more worry and fear throughout pregnancy biologically speaking. This is a result of her body mentally preparing her to protect and care for her child after birth.

  • Excitement

One of the strongest feelings a pregnant woman has is joy. After months of getting to know her child in the womb, a woman’s joy and excitement only intensify as the time to hold her baby draws near. The mother and child might become even closer by sharing pleasurable moments before the baby is born.

  • Sadness

Pregnancy alters many aspects of a person’s life, including how she looks, feels, and how she interacts with others. In light of these changes, some pregnant women may feel depressed about their new normal. It is advisable to discuss depression during pregnancy with her doctor if the person’s sadness seems to be more severe than just a passing emotion.

  • Stress

While stress might be the most common, anxiety and fear are all related emotions throughout pregnancy. Health-related concerns, making doctor’s appointments, and getting ready for the birth of your child are just a few sources of stress that can arise throughout pregnancy. It is crucial to take a moment to breathe deeply and move slowly due to how hectic this time is.


How to Manage Feelings and Emotions During Pregnancy

Photo source: Tony Luginsland

  • Communicate

Talking about your feelings is the best method to control your emotions throughout pregnancy. Pregnant women are recommended to be open with their partners, friends, family, doctors, or anybody else they are comfortable around.  Through communication, family members can learn how one is feeling and how they can support if necessary.

  • Consult the doctor

If learning how to manage emotions while pregnant is too much, it is advised to talk to the doctor about the best course of action.  For the doctor to help identify anything that may be more urgent or severe than typical mood swings, it is always ideal to be open and honest throughout appointments.

  • Create Self-Care Time

It is simple to become preoccupied with other things while pregnant and forget to take time for oneself. It is critical to take breaks to maintain one’s happiness and health as the most important thing is to give oneself and the baby some space to unwind.

Mood swings during pregnancy are extremely frequent and encompass a wide spectrum of feelings. Both the mother and the child benefit from the mother being conscious of her sentiments as it promotes good mental and emotional health.

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How To Mentally and Emotionally Support Persons Living with Cancer

“Cancer is a word, not a sentence.” – John Diamond (English Journalist)

Anyone affected by a cancer diagnosis may go through painful emotions. The news that someone has cancer may come as a shock, whether it is a friend, a loved one, or a family member. Being overburdened, depressed, furious, and bewildered are all common emotions. Simply hearing the word might paralyze one’s emotions as it is so unsettling.

Any of a broad number of illnesses known as cancer are ones in which abnormal cells form, multiply uncontrollably, have the capacity to invade healthy body tissue, and ultimately cause its destruction. It may spread to other parts of the body.

Although not every suggestion of support may be suitable for your loved one, try to follow your intuition and do what seems right to you when it comes to how to help loved ones who are dealing with cancer. Below are some recommendations.

  • Be prepared for a range of reactions and emotions

A cancer diagnosis does not necessarily spell death. Cancer therapy can be difficult, painful, and stretched out depending on the diagnosis and outlook, however, recovery is still possible. The most terrifying aspect of having cancer may be a person’s fear of the unknown.  It can be easier to be understanding and supportive when you are aware that intense emotional reactions are normal. Expected reactions could include, but are not limited to, uncertainty, loneliness, grief, fear, and rage. It is required of you to provide your assistance in these circumstances, no matter how challenging they may be.

  • Set aside any relationship misunderstanding

Misunderstandings in relationships can be difficult. Stress can bring up issues from the past and present. If these issues are not resolved, they may aggravate an already challenging circumstance. Misunderstandings of every kind can be set aside as a result. A peaceful, sympathetic, and supportive environment will support your loved one and help to keep everyone emotionally balanced.

  • Be optimistic, encouraging, and practical

Nobody appreciates a demeanor that downplays the gravity of any circumstance. Considering fighting cancer requires a tremendous amount of energy, having a positive outlook is crucial. It is very exhausting to be scared, confused, and afraid of dying, therefore, y our exuberance and encouraging words might be a crucial antidote in helping your loved one battle and heal. Every time you visit your loved one, think about putting on a projected positive and healing armor.

Photo source: Darina Belonogova

  • Visit only with approval, and understand when to leave

Cancer sufferers who are undergoing treatment are frequently worn out. They often do not appear their best, which may cause them to feel uncomfortable or degraded. Calling and finding out the best time to visit is advised. Keep in mind that people with cancer can get tired easily, so it may be advisable to make a few brief visits.

  • Be sure to be a source of a good laugh

Laughter has a healing effect and can lessen stress and tension related to illness. As a result, make sure to ask for recommendations for inspiring and humorous movies or television shows to watch with your loved one who has been diagnosed with cancer. Even if it lasts only a little while, laughter has the power to generate happy memories that will last a lifetime.

  • Talk about challenging topics

Depending on the circumstances, such conversations could involve making end-of-life plans while still doing your best to offer optimism. Cancer patients may need support and occasional advice when making treatment decisions, however, when you are asked, do not be hesitant to participate, but do so with discretion.

A person with cancer can greatly benefit from your love, support, and care during their journey.  Above everything, expressing concern for a loved one during a trying time can deepen your bond with them. 

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