Inspiration

“Listening is an art that requires attention over talent, spirit over ego, and others over self.” – Dean Jackson (American songwriter)

Many people enter conversations with predetermined goals in mind, whether they want to be heard or not, and ultimately to escape the engagement. People rarely listen to those who talk to them as they do not give their full focus, interest, or heart to hearing and understanding them. This not only causes isolation within, but it also causes the other person to feel disconnected.

Giving anything your full attention is what it means to listen. There are many different ways to pay attention to anything, which implies that when attention is diverted, listening skills are compromised.

Listening as a skill

One cannot become a good listener by remaining silent and letting others speak the majority of the time. Additionally, being good at speaking and hearing what the other person has to say does not necessarily translate into being a good listener. A good listener must be patient, open-minded, responsive, non-judgmental, and refrain from filling in any blanks or assuming they fully comprehend the other person.

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How to become a good listener

The art of listening can be learned in many different ways. Here are five strategies for using this important life skill in daily life.

• Engage in eye contact

This is a very basic but frequently ignored rule of mastering the art of listening. When the speaker is talking and there is no eye contact, it gives the sense that the speaker is not taken seriously. In essence, it seems as though what they are discussing is unimportant.

• Try not to interrupt the speaker

Talking should be avoided while someone is expressing themselves or making a point. To learn the art of listening, you must put any positive ideas on hold and give the other person the space and time they require to complete their sentence. Most of the time, people just need someone to talk to and not someone to jump in with their ideas. The intention is for them to receive attention, not for you.

• Affirm your comprehension

Nod your head in agreement when someone is speaking to you to demonstrate your comprehension. A response can also be used to demonstrate that the speaker has your attention. Despite how insignificant it may seem, it is crucial to show some interest and understanding.

• Without passing judgment, pay attention

Withholding criticism or other negative judgments is crucial if you want to acquire the skill of listening. As much as you can, try to be receptive. Being aware of the particular phrases, expressions, or circumstances that make you stop listening—your “turn off” triggers—also helps. You can avoid shutting off in the future with this method.

• Pay attention to nonverbal cues

The majority of communication is nonverbal. It is vital to comprehend what the person’s body is saying to decide whether to support the speaker more, be more encouraging, or open oneself up more. For instance, it is essential to know whether their actions and words are consistent.

Self-respect is necessary for developing the ability to listen

It is important to realize that listening intently to everyone is not necessary as it can be draining. Selecting who to listen to is very acceptable. To do this, you must pay close attention to your needs and those of others while also being willing to create boundaries when necessary.

Self-respect is necessary for listening, both toward oneself and others. You do not have to be a therapist for everyone, however, you should be aware of how effective listening may make a difference in how you feel about yourself and how life works.

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It might be particularly difficult to recognize when someone could be considering suicide. Some individuals will express their concerns verbally or exhibit outward indications that they are at risk. Many people make an effort to keep their suicidal thoughts and intentions hidden from others.

Anyone who notices one or more of the warning signals listed below, or merely has a suspicion that a loved one may be considering suicide, should reach out as it is difficult to know what is going on in another person’s thoughts. Given the widespread apprehensions, studies consistently show that asking someone if they are thinking about suicide would not introduce the thought if it was not already present.

Typical Red Flags

Untrained eyes may not always be able to discern a person’s intentions when they are trying to conceal their suicidal thoughts. However, there are numerous visible symptoms that someone is considering suicide, and getting aware of these signs, particularly the more subtle ones, might help someone spot a loved one who might be in danger. Suicidal behavior frequently exhibits the following warning signs:

• Individual writes a will, donate their personal belongings, or make an effort to organize their affairs.
• Describes feeling “stuck,” unproductive, or as if there is no reason to continue living.
• Searches for ways to hurt oneself, like how to get a gun or get access to harmful drugs.
• The individual does too much or too little sleep.
• Eats excessively or too little.
• Exhibits depressive symptoms or substantial mood fluctuations.
• Makes angry, nervous, or hostile gestures.
• Spends more time alone than normal and avoids everyone, even loved ones.

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Some people, who may not show any symptoms and may even seem to be in good health on the outside, commit suicide on the spur of the moment or in response to a significant and unexpected stressor. Sadly, some people may go to great efforts to conceal their suicidal thoughts from loved ones or close acquaintances, even if they have been organizing their suicide attempt for weeks or months. For those left behind, these deaths can be especially devastating. It is not unusual to feel terrible remorse or like one should have known that one’s loved one was in such misery. It is crucial to keep in mind that, even if nobody is to blame for another person’s suicide, it is never shameful to seek assistance if you are experiencing overwhelming sadness or regret.

Suicidal Thoughts and Getting Help

Being aware of suicidal thoughts or actions in oneself or a loved one may be incredibly terrifying, and many people are unsure of how to react when they become aware that they or someone they know is seriously considering killing themselves. It is crucial to keep in mind that assistance is available at all times and that talking to someone about suicidal thoughts or actions can save a life. Even when the risk of death seems remote, mental health specialists advise taking immediate action in the face of suicide ideation.

It is worrisome and perplexing to notice warning indications of suicidal behavior or thoughts in a loved one or to learn that they are planning to hurt themselves shortly. However, aid is always available, and all the options, such as crisis centers, or local emergency services, that are available to people in crisis are also available to their loved ones. Reaching out to one of them could help save your loved one’s life.

After the acute crisis has passed, you might want to encourage or assist your loved one in seeking long-term mental health care.

Leave any messages you may have in the comments below. Visit our website @www.dominiontv.net for more content on inspired and empowered living.

How people feel about themselves, and their talents can be impacted by low self-esteem and lack of confidence. It may also have an influence on the choices people make and the way they conduct their life. A change in self-talk may make people feel more confident and raise their self-esteem.

People may have an imbalanced picture of themselves and distrust their skills or what they have to give if they lack confidence and high self-esteem. Relationships, employment, and academic performance can all suffer from low self-esteem and lack of confidence. Without solutions, it might also be detrimental to their physical and emotional health.

Self-esteem and confidence

Belief in oneself, one’s skills, and one’s ideas are referred to as confidence. Confident people typically recognize and accept who they are as they are. However, self-esteem is a person’s perception of and feelings about their own identity and actions.

A person who has a high sense of self-esteem will think well of themselves and be aware of their favorable traits. A person who has poor self-esteem, on the other hand, could feel unworthy of anything wonderful and may not think highly of themselves. A person may be confident in a certain talent or skill yet have low self-esteem if they have a bad opinion of themself.

Photo source: Sydney Rae

Indications of low confidence or low self-esteem

The following behaviors indicate low confidence and self-esteem.

Low self-esteem 

When someone does not take praise well, feels inferior to their peers, and disregards their positive traits in front of others, they may have poor self-esteem.

Low confidence

Feeling unwanted, having trouble trusting others, and having self-doubt are a few symptoms of low confidence.

Causes

Low self-esteem may have early roots. A person may lack a sense of worth or inner value if they do not experience love, affection, and positive relationships during their formative years. People’s sense of self-esteem may suffer if they experience a lot of grief or hurt as children. Constant negative feedback may lower self-esteem.

Abuse, pressure to perform well or excel in particular areas, social media, stigma, or prejudice are just a few examples of the many factors that might impair confidence.

How to elevate one’s confidence and self-esteem

The following advice is beneficial for boosting confidence and self-esteem.

• Spend time with folks who you find to be positive.
• Develop the ability to appear confident through your speech and body language, as this can affect how others feel on the inside.
• Take on a new challenge, meet new people, or attempt something new.
• Practice being assertive, which may entail establishing boundaries with others.
• Indulge in engaging and enjoyable activities.

Anxiety and depression are two mental health problems that may be linked to low self-esteem and lack of confidence. It is important to know that one’s self-esteem and confidence may increase if steps are taken to replace negative thoughts with good ones.

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It is comprehensible that dealing with the loss of a loved one is difficult. While you miss the people you cherished and shared your lives with, this is also a good moment to take stock of the positive experiences.

Even though no one ever plans on losing a loved one, anyone who has experienced it can attest to how terrible it is. The concept of “moving on” is difficult for anyone going through such loss to understand and will be of little use.

Grief is the emotional reaction to loss, especially the loss of a person to whom you had a close attachment or affection. Grief has many different aspects, in addition to its traditional focus on the emotional reaction to loss, including cognitive, physical, behavioral, cultural, and psychological aspects. Bereavement refers to the state of loss, whereas grief is the response to that loss, even though the expressions are frequently used simultaneously.

Photo source: Jessica Delp

It is normal to suffer grief after losing someone, but it is also crucial to understand that everyone grieves in their distinctive manner. It can take months or years to get over losing a loved one. A person may feel fine one day and completely broken the next, therefore, it is safe to state that healing is not a smooth phase though it is possible to get back strong.

Even though everyone’s experience of grief is unique, therapists have a reasonably clear definition of the different stages of grief. Here are several ways that experts can spot a person who has undergone a loss exhibiting indications of grief.

Phases Of Grief

There are five distinct stages of grief, according to Swiss psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. The five-phase grief concept aims to identify a typical grieving experience and is based on her work with patients who were towards the end of their lives.

• Denial

Denial is the initial stage. It is challenging to fathom the loss when you first hear about it, therefore, you frequently end up feeling dumbfounded and astonished. You can withstand the loss if you get through the early phase.

• Anger

The pain of the loss must be accepted as reality sinks in. You might feel helpless and enraged, and you might accidentally vent your rage on other people. It is critical to keep in mind that nobody is to blame and to come up with alternative grieving strategies.

• Bargaining

In this stage, you obsess about what you could have done to stop the loss at this point. No matter what happened, you were not to blame for the loss, although you can find it difficult to acknowledge this at this point in your grieving process.

• Depression

As you come to terms with the loss and how it has affected your life, sadness starts to set in. Crying, sleepiness or sleeping all the time, appetite loss, feeling overburdened, and solitude are all indications of depression. As long as it persists for a reasonable amount of time, this is accepted as a typical grieving process stage, unlike severe depression.

• Acceptance

When you reach this stage of grief, you accept the truth of your loss and are ready to start the challenging yet necessary process of moving on with your life. The ability to continue living a full life and celebrate your loved one’s departure makes this phase of grief one of the most gratifying, even though it can be the hardest to deal with.

You might go through multiple of these grieving phases as you work your way toward feeling better, while not every stage is common for everyone. Different stages of grief are experienced by people at various paces. Your approach to dealing with grief may differ from that of others as it can be felt in a variety of ways, not just the way that is “expected” of you. Finding a means to move on is the most critical aspect of grieving.

Moving On After A Loss

Anyone who has a loss finds it tough to move on, and since everyone deals with losses differently, it is difficult to say how to move on. Any significant life event, such as a loss, can be quite upsetting emotionally and disrupt your routine. To assist you to advance more swiftly and accept your loss, you might take a few actions.

Grief Therapy

The deceased’s relationship to you, and your religious convictions among others are a few of the variables that affect how you grieve. Grief can take its course and pass away on its own for some people, but counseling for grieving may be necessary for others. If you have symptoms like panic attacks, a lack of self-care, difficulty finishing daily duties, and trouble sleeping, among others, you might want to think about grief counseling.

It is crucial to consult a therapist if you are experiencing intense grief and exhibit any of the aforementioned symptoms as you will get help to move through your loss, no matter how impossible moving on may seem.

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Life requires overcoming challenges and obstacles of many types. Battling our struggles and fears determines who we are. – David Weatherford (Child psychologist)

Image of Temitope in a conversation with a staff of Dominion TV in Circle, Accra.

To love and be loved in return is one of everyone’s deepest dreams. Some people will go to great lengths, risking their safety, to visit their loved ones, even if it means traveling great distances.

Temitope Olabisi Karounwi is one of those people. She is a Nigerian woman in her 30s and a vendor on the streets of Circle, Accra. In October 2019, she left Lagos, Nigeria for Ghana after meeting a man online whom she believed to be a gift from God. Even though her story is very brief, it is nonetheless a poignant one. Their romantic journey appeared to be going well until the man in question revealed to Temitope on March 3, 2020, that his parents had counseled against their future intentions to wed. Temitope described how she attempted to hold on to him out of love for him, but all of her efforts were unsuccessful.

Temitope’s struggles in the streets of Accra

After experiencing disappointment, Temitope started her job hunt until she was hired at an eatery, where she was paid Ghc10 per day. She spoke of how difficult the struggle was yet had to make do with what she had at the time owing to the fact that she lacked the money to go back to Nigeria.

“It was not easy for me at all, but I wanted to achieve something with my life so I still saved out of the little I was making”. 

She finally succeeded in purchasing a refrigerator to sell on the streets of Circle, a city in Accra-Ghana, after some time. Even though she is now seeing a man she calls her dream partner, she sells sachet water and other beverages on the streets of Accra. According to Temitope, some days are good and some days are not at all good. She continues by saying that even though she is expecting a child and her current income is not sufficient to support herself and the child, she will continue to take each day as it comes until she achieves success.

She holds that even if she has made mistakes in her life, God never criticizes her and that His plans are always ideal, therefore she hopes for the day when all of her difficulties will be over. This is the story of a woman who followed her heart, experienced disappointment, and is making a valiant effort to support herself despite her difficulties.

She counsels everyone who is having trouble creating a fulfilling life for themselves through what they do to persevere since their breakthrough is closer than they think.

Do you, as a man or woman, strive to live a meaningful life in spite of whatever challenges you may encounter? While putting a lot of effort into realizing your dreams, never lose hope. Share this with family and friends, and do not forget to visit our website @www.dominiontv.net for more content on inspired and empowered living. Dominion TV; Africa’s Christian Lifestyle Network for Inspired and Empowered Living.

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