“Women can be complete without children” – Nosisa Doe
Women deserve to be recognized for their significant contributions to society, great victories, and unrivaled bravery. Despite gender disparities in many fields, women continue to flourish and succeed. As a result, women must be encouraged, motivated, and inspired to keep fighting, rather than being ostracized due to a lack of biological children.
Nosisa is an example of a woman blessed with a child at God’s own time, and an excellent role model for aspiring mothers because she kept loyal to her faith and never gave up on God despite her prolonged waiting period. She believed that God’s timing was always optimal, and therefore, she let go and let God.
Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) affects 6 to 12 percent of women of reproductive age worldwide. According to research, successful therapy resulting in pregnancy is more likely to occur in the first three to four months of treatment. Several women have shared their tales of childbirth after being diagnosed with the condition, making each birth and conception story a unique one.
Nosisa’s was one very unique story; a tale that every aspiring mother battling with PCOS needs to read. Nosisa, a Zimbabwean, migrated to Ghana at the age of thirty-one after being diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome in her twenties and been informed by three different doctors in three different countries that she would be unable to bear children. She also recounted her difficult time growing up as she never felt good enough. This phase further intensified her feelings, prompting her to doubt her husband’s affirmation of her occasionally.
Before moving to Ghana, Nosisa had a dream where she saw children in a white car; children who belonged to her. However, it remained a dream. She sobbed and questioned God several times following the dream, asking why she could not have children like Hannah in the Bible. Nosisa recalls being stigmatized on several occasions, by various society members asking “Why don’t you try In Vitro Fertilization (IVF)”, or “has your husband explored other options?.”
Such remarks only intensified Nosisa’s displeasure, making her question whether she did something wrong. She felt incomplete. However, this did not shake her faith in God. She grew more vocal with God, citing Isaiah 1:18:
“Come now, let us settle the matter, says the Lord. Even though your sins are as scarlet, they will be as white as snow, and even if they are red as crimson, they will be as wool” – Isaiah 1:18
These words consoled Nosisa during her difficult moments and kept her faith alive. She recognized that no matter what she thought she had done wrong, God was willing to forgive her. As a result, she made positive declarations throughout those trying moments which edified her spiritually and affirmed Christ’s love for her, childless or not.
Aside from consoling herself, she also took the initiative to advise young women in similar situations not to blame themselves for their inability to bear children, teaching them that women can be whole without children and that God does all things perfectly at His own time.
“Have faith and surround yourself with people who proclaim life rather than death,” she would encourage other women.
Her family played a major role in helping her grow past her pain and demonstrated that “family is everything” by being there for her during her most trying period.
“My husband, mother, and mother-in-law were all very supportive. I recall a time when my mother-in-law kept me away from those who made it seem like my husband made a mistake by marrying me” she says.
Nosisa finally gave birth to her first child, a girl, in 2014 at the age of 34, and her second child, a boy, two years later at the age of 36, which she believes was God’s plan. This testimony reaffirmed her faith in God’s will for man, which she described as “perfect” and “perfectly timed.” Interestingly, the children Nosisa gave birth to looked exactly like the children she had seen in her dreams right before moving to Ghana.
“Do not tell people how deep the valley they are in is. Tell them how beautiful it is to be on the tallest mountain.” Nosisa Doe
Nosisa’s words set out to encourage aspiring mothers and women battling with PCOS, that there is hope especially when faith is anchored on God.